My will and God's will

There are things in life that I am willing to do. I am willing to drive a friend to his house at 9 p.m. even if his house is an hour and a half away. I am willing to lend money to a friend even if there's a chance that she won't pay me back (but she did). I am willing to listen to people's problems even if I have problems myself. I am willing to cook lunch or dinner even if it will entail a lot of time and effort on my part. I've done all these (and some several times at that) because I will it.

God also has several things He's willing to do. God is willing to wait for you to ask Him for the blessing of the day. He is even willing to wait for a long time. God is willing to forgive you for your sins. Moreover, He's willing to forgive you even if you've committed the same sin over and over again. God is willing to listen to you cry, curse Him and question Him. God is willing to let you make choices in your life. He has done all these (and some several times at that) because He will it.

When a young child dies all of a sudden, did God will it? When you've worked so hard to get a job and still don't get that job, did God will it? When you've had 6 wonderful years with a special someone and it didn't lead to marriage, did God will it?

They say, work hard as if everything depends on you but pray as if everything depends on God. I would like to believe that the mother of the sick, young child was doing everything she can to help her child be cured and she was also praying to Him to heal her child. Two months ago, I was working hard when I was applying for that position and I was going to the Blessed Sacrament praying about that application. For 6 years I've nurtured my relationship with my dear friend in the hopes it will lead to marriage and the two of us prayed a lot about our relationship.

So, what happened? Yes, I know, there's a reason for everything that happens in your life. That even if you will something so much and you pray about it so much, if it's not His will, He won't give it to you. Not because you don't deserve it. Not because you didn't pray enough. There's just a reason why He didn't give it. A reason that may not be revealed to you soon but eventually it will be revealed to you. I would like to believe that there is a reason because I am still trying to understand His will for me.

I just realized that there are things in my life that happened because both God and I willed it. A lot of things. I wanted to become a guidance counselor and worked hard to become one. I believe God wanted me to be a guidance counselor, too. I wanted to have a lot of friends so I made sure that I made a lot of friends. And in my years of existence, God has blessed me with a lot of acquaintances who eventually became my friends.

Two days ago, I found out that my dear friend did something that hurt me so much, emotionally. It was something that was hard to forgive. Of course, my dear friend was apologizing from two days ago up to yesterday. Yesterday afternoon, it was my will and God's will that I forgive my dear friend, and so I did.

For my life to be lived in it's fullness, I should pray everyday that His will will also be my will. And then OUR WILL BECOME.