trying to keep something to myself

Just when I thought I can keep something myself...then, I told him about my blog! Why did I tell him? I don't know. I guess I was hoping he'll be proud of me and then he'll be curious enough to search for my blog. He is proud of me. He did say that he tried to search for my blog. But after having the two things I was hoping for, it seems not worth it...not keeping it to myself. Sometimes we (well, I am hoping I am not alone in this) do or say things to see the reaction of the other person. Most often we have this expected reaction. When we don't get that reaction we get frustrated. He would call it 'tests'. I guess they are. I'm getting so good in giving these tests...so you won't see me writing about "trying to give 'tests'". There's a better chance that I'll be writing about "trying not to give 'tests'". Let's go back to my topic...keeping something to myself. My topic is so apt because it's the lenten season. The time that you fast...Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Jesus said something about fasting but not telling anyone about it...Moreover, to present yourself as if you're not fasting. Sometimes I wonder why we shouldn't tell anyone. Having a pleasant disposition despite the fasting, I understand. But what if you just want to share with someone that you're fasting. Not to brag about it or to get sympathy but you just simply want to share with someone that you're doing this. I know you may be thinking that I might be doing a 'test'. Honestly, I am not. I shared this with him because I want him to know. Alright, I did fast last Ash Wednesday for three people...one of them is him. Why? He's going through a period in his life that he is not sure if he is where he should be. Why did I tell him that I fasted for him? Because I want him to know he's not alone...I am here and God is here for him.

I am not really good in keeping secrets...but I have improved, mind you. I have a few secrets that have been with me for a couple of years. One of my friends once said that I am suffering from 'verbal diarrhea'. I was laughing so hard the first time I heard that description of me...but I think that is true. Again, at least I am honest. There was a time (more of times) in my life when I would tell this particular person that I love him. Who cares what he would say? (Well, I do ü) But I have always believed that life is too short to keep things to yourself...specially, actions or words that would make someone happy and would make this world a better place to live in.